Hollyrood holds many secrets this is not a statement but a fact it also harbours scotlands biggest criminals the msps. But there is one secret hidden within these walls that we at the free speech underground have uncovered.

Nicola Sturgeon first minister of Scotland the first woman to hold the position an achievement yes, but dishonesty is Mrs sturgeons speciality.

Have you ever wondered why old nic never changes her hairstyle? It's almost as if since she first came into the limelight she's had the exact same haircut. Well dear reader we have information that will shock and amaze you for you see our first minister has been lying yet again for her famous eightys lesbian cut is actually a wig! Yes as wild as it may seem it is true. Working with insiders we gained this knowledge using state of the art AI to assist us in hacking the scottish national wig register. A team of six men scrolled through thousands of baldy records until we got the prize there it was in black and white. 'Nicola Sturgeon, hair loss due to ferret hunting trip gone wrong' knowing what we know to be true about the sturgeon family's proclivity for poaching we had little doubt of the accuracy of the information.

We contacted the royal institute for wigs but they declined to comment.

Hollyrood denied all knowledge on the subject but a spokesman from the green party told us 'iv never heard of your newspaper leave me alone!' This led us to believe he was an ugly virgin.

Editor and chief,

Shaun taylor.